Thursday, September 26, 2013

Return To The Start: 9/11 Heroes Run Race Report: Part 2 The Race

After my decision to change my race plan I was a bit antsy. Thank goodness Dan was able to be home (thank you Air Force!!!) so he drove while I played on my phone to distract my thoughts. Bad idea. I checked my email only to realize that I had failed to read one of the many emails the race director sent out. I decided to go ahead and read it. YIKES-course change due to last minute construction. Hills were now in the mix and the finish line was now a hill. Good thing I have two massive hills either way out of my neighborhood so I had some training. But just how was this going to play into my "go hard" plan, I wasn't sure. So what did I do? Freaked out and sent my coach a very early morning text. Luckily she was up, we had a quick chat, and I was ready to go again. 

Dan and I arrived at the race about an hour early so we had some time to explore Mercer Island. It was absolutely beautiful and so peaceful. Just what I needed. I sat on the pier for a good thirty minutes stretching and reflecting. 



The opening ceremony was simple but moving. And in just a few words the race director said it best "run hard, don't run with a heavy heart, and leave it all out there because they did." This race was to honor the fallen. Hard it would be - the course and the effort. 

Photo via
I took the start line and was off. Within a quarter of a mile I was breathing harder than I needed to be and my HR was already in a zone 3. Oops. I thought about the conversation I had with my Coach about her previous race about going out too hard, considered slowing down a bit, but then I thought "oh well I don't care if I feel it at the end, I am giving this everything in me and if I get a PR, then shooot....go for it." So that's when the race became mine....

This course was hard and I was not prepared. The hills were a challenge, but they were gradual and much like the ones by my house. The course was narrow, the gravel was extremely loose, and I was not use to grass/trails. Passing people was nearly impossible at points unless you wanted to be rude, and let's face it, I wasn't winning so I wasn't going to push anyone out of the way. 

Not much after I declared the race "mine" I started begging for the halfway mark. If I could make it halfway, I knew I could finish the second half. Honestly up until this point I don't know what was going through my head. I didn't think about the past year. Not once. I didn't think about anything other than breathing. It was about mile 2 that I was thinking my legs and feet were going to give out. I was going too hard (for me). Then I remembered "I have feet like a deer" and "why do I run"and suddenly all those things to think about came rushing in my mind. I thought about it for a few seconds then remembered the race director said no heavy hearts today, leave it all out there. I forgot about it and went back to pounding it out with Titanium and Roar (I always listen to a christian radio station on pandora when I run but before the race decided to change it up so had those two on youtube on my phone and played on repeat). So really what I said over and over was the lyrics "you shoot me down but I want fall." I guess I did think about this year subconsciously.

My body was screaming to quit and my HR was near my max and was staying up there. My watch said I had .80 to go and I knew a PR was no longer an option. Defeated for a moment I decided to walk for 30 seconds. I was mad. But then I was quickly reminded that I said I would leave it all out there so back to running I went. Then I started to question my GPS and how far I had left. I knew from my previous lap I had to be closer than the .75 my watch was saying. Could I manage to pull it off? The only way to find out was to go for it. 

As I started up the final hill I could see the clock. I knew if the course distance was right and the time was right I could get the PR. I had a minute to get up the hill and cross the finish line. I crossed the finish line with what I thought was a good 15 seconds to spare. Did I do it? Was my watch right or wrong? Was the distance right? I called Kristie (my coach and dear friend) immediately and told her I think I had done it and a few minutes later we confirmed. 

The clock was right. The distance was correct. I set a PR. 

I heard a man say, "man, that girl is smiling big coming across that finish line." Yes sir, I sure was. I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. God was faithful. He allowed me the hard and He was present. He was greater. 

 "He must become greater, I must become less." John 3:30

Today, I took the start line. 
Today, I took back a part of me that my health took. 
Today, I felt alive again. 
Today, my heart was free and consumed with joy again. 
Today, I crossed the finish line. 


The best cheerleader. My best friend. My husband. I love you. 
Thank you for keeping your promise "for better or worse". 


I debated going public about this race or even sharing this race report. At first I wanted it to be just between me and God. But the reality is, I wouldn't have taken that start line had it not been for all of you. My family, my coaches Glenn and Kristie, my teammates, my friends, and my doctors - all of you made this possible. The last year hasn't been easy but I thank you for your prayers and support. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me. Thank you for being there. Thank you. 






Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Return To The Start: 9/11 Heroes Race Report: Part 1 Before The Race

I cannot think of a better way to launch A Race To Run other than sharing the race report that embraces what this blog is about: faith, running, and life.

Pre-Race History:

My training was exactly where it needed to be. I was on track to run the Tulsa Half Marathon November 27, 2012 and then the plan was to continue to build for the OKC Memorial Marathon in April, 2013. I had big goals and they were shattered. In a matter of weeks I went from being in the best shape of my life to not being able to walk. I was terrified. This happened to me in 2009. Doctors were stunned. How could this happen again? What was it? I was given several different diagnoses and treated for some. Specialists would agree then disagree. I was drowning in medication.

I wanted answers and I wanted to be well, but most of all I wanted to run. I wanted to train. I begged God for it...even it was hard, I just wanted to run.

For months I lived in hospitals and doctors offices. I waited for the day I was told I was well enough to start training. That day came. Training was slow. It was harder than when I first started running. We had to be careful. I had to be patient, and I am not a patient person. I knew racing was out of the question. My heart wasn't ready yet. I trusted my coach to tell me when I was ready. And when I was ready, he did. I was ecstatic. The plan was to run the 9/11 Heroes run on September 14.

Then life happened. The six weeks leading up to my race I got a new coach, both of my parents were sick and required surgery, migraines were still too frequent, and training was not consistent. I wasn't sure I could run 3.1 miles. A week before the race I told my coach we needed to talk, I was having reservations about the race. The night we were to talk, her son needed her so we rescheduled. I thank God for Ty and his need that night. The next day I had the best run in almost a year.
Thank you Ty, you are an angel. 

We decided I would go to the race and just have a free run. No time goal. No pressure. The only goal was to have fun and remember why I run. I could do that.

I am not sure why but the entire week before I was super nervous. You would have thought I was going to run a marathon and not a 5k. The day before the race my emotions got the best of me and in that moment, God so sweetly said, "go hard." I immediately sent this email to my coach:

This may be crazy and even stupid but I hope you will understand...I need to change my race plan.

Free run it will be...but I can't sit back and take it easy. I asked God to give me the hard over nothing...and this has every bit been hard coming back the last 9 months. I need to give it all I have, even if it hurts. I asked for this, to stand at a race start again, so I feel like I have to give it all I have. No time in mind, no chasing a PR...just me and God. 

It's a 5k and just another race for many, but this is much more for me. It would be my story if I played it safe, but it's his story and that means going after it-being a little uncomfortable. It may be a 40 minute run or a 29 min run giving me a PR. Either way, I just have to give it all I have. I come to this because God reminded me why I run. That was the original goal right ? ;)

Stay tuned for Part 2: Race Day