Return To The Start: 9/11 Heroes Run Race Report: Part 2 The Race

After my decision to change my race plan I was a bit antsy. Thank goodness Dan was able to be home (thank you Air Force!!!) so he drove while I played on my phone to distract my thoughts. Bad idea. I checked my email only to realize that I had failed to read one of the many emails the race director sent out. I decided to go ahead and read it. YIKES-course change due to last minute construction. Hills were now in the mix and the finish line was now a hill. Good thing I have two massive hills either way out of my neighborhood so I had some training. But just how was this going to play into my "go hard" plan, I wasn't sure. So what did I do? Freaked out and sent my coach a very early morning text. Luckily she was up, we had a quick chat, and I was ready to go again. 

Dan and I arrived at the race about an hour early so we had some time to explore Mercer Island. It was absolutely beautiful and so peaceful. Just what I needed. I sat on the pier for a good thirty minutes stretching and reflecting. 

The opening ceremony was simple but moving. And in just a few words the race director said it best "run hard, don't run with a heavy heart, and leave it all out there because they did." This race was to honor the fallen. Hard it would be - the course and the effort. 

Photo via

I took the start line and was off. Within a quarter of a mile I was breathing harder than I needed to be and my HR was already in a zone 3. Oops. I thought about the conversation I had with my Coach about her previous race about going out too hard, considered slowing down a bit, but then I thought "oh well I don't care if I feel it at the end, I am giving this everything in me and if I get a PR, then shooot....go for it." So that's when the race became mine....

This course was hard and I was not prepared. The hills were a challenge, but they were gradual and much like the ones by my house. The course was narrow, the gravel was extremely loose, and I was not use to grass/trails. Passing people was nearly impossible at points unless you wanted to be rude, and let's face it, I wasn't winning so I wasn't going to push anyone out of the way. 

Not much after I declared the race "mine" I started begging for the halfway mark. If I could make it halfway, I knew I could finish the second half. Honestly up until this point I don't know what was going through my head. I didn't think about the past year. Not once. I didn't think about anything other than breathing. It was about mile 2 that I was thinking my legs and feet were going to give out. I was going too hard (for me). Then I remembered "I have feet like a deer" and "why do I run"and suddenly all those things to think about came rushing in my mind. I thought about it for a few seconds then remembered the race director said no heavy hearts today, leave it all out there. I forgot about it and went back to pounding it out with Titanium and Roar (I always listen to a christian radio station on pandora when I run but before the race decided to change it up so had those two on youtube on my phone and played on repeat). So really what I said over and over was the lyrics "you shoot me down but I want fall." I guess I did think about this year subconsciously.

My body was screaming to quit and my HR was near my max and was staying up there. My watch said I had .80 to go and I knew a PR was no longer an option. Defeated for a moment I decided to walk for 30 seconds. I was mad. But then I was quickly reminded that I said I would leave it all out there so back to running I went. Then I started to question my GPS and how far I had left. I knew from my previous lap I had to be closer than the .75 my watch was saying. Could I manage to pull it off? The only way to find out was to go for it. 

As I started up the final hill I could see the clock. I knew if the course distance was right and the time was right I could get the PR. I had a minute to get up the hill and cross the finish line. I crossed the finish line with what I thought was a good 15 seconds to spare. Did I do it? Was my watch right or wrong? Was the distance right? I called Kristie (my coach and dear friend) immediately and told her I think I had done it and a few minutes later we confirmed. 

The clock was right. The distance was correct. I set a PR. 

I heard a man say, "man, that girl is smiling big coming across that finish line." Yes sir, I sure was. I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. God was faithful. He allowed me the hard and He was present. He was greater. 

 "He must become greater, I must become less." John 3:30

Today, I took the start line. 

Today, I took back a part of me that my health took. 

Today, I felt alive again. 

Today, my heart was free and consumed with joy again. 

Today, I crossed the finish line. 

The best cheerleader. My best friend. My husband. I love you. 

Thank you for keeping your promise "for better or worse". 

I debated going public about this race or even sharing this race report. At first I wanted it to be just between me and God. But the reality is, I wouldn't have taken that start line had it not been for all of you. My family, my coaches Glenn and Kristie, my teammates, my friends, and my doctors - all of you made this possible. The last year hasn't been easy but I thank you for your prayers and support. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me. Thank you for being there. Thank you.